I guess this is more of a rant then anything.
DH’s good friend told him that he is filing for bankruptcy "everything is wiped clean [credit card debt, probably close to $50k?]; just pay the lawyer $2k and we start over"
Ugh! and GRRRR!
DH’s friend is middle-aged, married (two income - more than us), no kids, lives in a twin-home, has beat up cars but they charge their vacations, and eat out all of the time. DH told me that on one of their motorcycle overnight trips that while DH ordered a $10-12 meal, his friend would order steak & lobster.
(And he just bought a $900 specialized motorcycle GPS - that he can’t figure out how to use!)
What would be the biggest 2 or 3 downfalls that I could have DH tell his friend about bankruptcy?
(edit: for discussion of bankruptcy, not of my feelings.)
Something like this wouldn’t annoy me at all. Save your energy and direct it towards making your family a fun and safe place, which sounds like it already is. Let other people live their lives. They deserve that right.
One downside to a bankruptcy (BK) is – you cannot do it again until after so many years. So if you have a true financial catastrophe in the mean time – you cannot BK your way out of it. You have to own it.
Nothing precludes you from filing BK right now if you want
The downfall is that you can only file BK every 7 years or so, so with those types of spending habits, he’ll be needing to do it again pretty soon.
The law does somewhat follow your judgment of him. The Bush 43 administration modified the BK code to make it much harder to get a total debt wipeout without having to make ongoing partial payments, to prevent people from strategically defaulting.
@mom2jel I’m less annoyed by people declaring bankruptcy and far more annoyed by people on the internet that use acronyms for no reason like DH that I have to google to figure out what it means. It’s possible to type “husband” faster than to hold down the shift key and type DH so not only do people using arcane acronyms adding extra confusion, but they aren’t saving any time.
Sooner or later that lifestyle will catch up with your friend. He is enjoying life now, but obviously his income isn’t able to keep up with his lifestyle. At some point, when his income runs out, (let’s face it, we can’t keep working forever), he will not have much to retire on. This adjustment will be more painful, the later in life it comes.
Just because they appear to have a carefree attitude on the outside, that doesn’t mean that they haven’t been dealing with the stress of dodging collection agencies, repo men, etc for months if not years.
I wouldn’t say anything at all. You’re heading down a slippery slope where your family will be the ones who gave them to bad advice that ruined their life. Of course that’s just going to be their perception of what happened, not that the $50k they blew through ruined their life.
I am always amazed at how little debt people wipe out in bankruptcy. I mean come on, show some ambition and blow up for millions instead of a few $10k’s worth. Look at Venezuela if you want some role models…
Why stop at using terms of endearment with your spouse? By virtue of using them with some people and not others can be construed as insulting to the people you don’t use terms of endearment with. How about “dear coworker” and “dear neighbor”?
Is it really insulting to just say “husband” instead of “dear husband”? If anything, I find “dear husband” to be a bit condescending as it reads sarcastically.
I have been through background checks that include credit report as part of my employment screening for all the jobs I applied in the last 20 years. What I can’t say is what happend if one do have a bad mark on the report. I know someone here who got a reckless driving record and she were able to convince the hiring manager to overlook it.
Housing is another possible issue. I wouldn’t rent to someone now wo a credit check.
People use DH, DW, DD, DS (husband/wife/daughter/son) on mom/family forums. My wife has been reading forums since we have a 9-month-old on feeding habits, weening, potty training, etc. and she frequently complains about this. I can’t stand it either.
To OP: get over it. Not saying that in a rude fashion, but you need to mind your own business. Your husband’s friend can do whatever they please. Complaining to a bunch of people on the internet might make you feel better for a minute, but you just look foolish to everyone else. Honestly, it comes off as you being jealous in some twisted way. As if you resent the fact that the guy can go spend a bunch of money that he doesn’t have and then have it wiped away for $2000. I agree, it’s deadbeat material, but who cares? It’s not your life. As long as the guy’s spending habits don’t carry over to your husband, what’s it matter to you?