My wife and I are very blessed that it was never something we had to think about for ourselves. I would like to think that since we have talked about adoption even having our own kids naturally that adoption would have been our first and only plan had we not been able to have our own children. I wish more people in that position would adopt.
That said, it’s important to make a distinction. The end goal of an abortion is to snuff out a life. The end goal of IVF is to create a life and raise a child. But even though the goal is noble I don’t believe you can set aside the “extra” life/lives you are creating when trying to have a child.
I haven’t looked into IVF enough to know about how many eggs are fertilized then never used, and what options are given to the parents of those fertilized eggs. But I assume a lot of parents discard them, and I think that is wrong and akin to abortion. My catholic aunt had 3 kids via IVF, but I’ve never talked to her about it because I don’t know what options were given to her 20 years ago. Maybe her 3rd kid was the last batch and she didn’t leave any embryos left to die/linger forever in a bank. I don’t know. They were fortunate to have the money available to do it multiple times so maybe they didn’t make extra. But I have to assume not everyone is able to do that and they either pay to keep them frozen “forever” or they are discarded at some point. If I were king of the world, I would make it illegal to discard fertilized embryos leftover from IVF treatment just as I would outlaw abortions at any stage. But I can understand how some pro-life folks don’t see it that way considering the overall goal of the procedure and the fact that the embryos are just as developed as the embryos that the female body often naturally discards each month when they aren’t implanted.
The optimist in me hopes that someday the international adoption process would be streamlined and more parents would consider that option. Then the optimist in me hopes that someday there would be no orphaned babies around the world to adopt and we would actually have to grapple with the ethics of your scenario.